We all have different ways of showing someone that we care about them. This could be called your ‘love language’.
The main ‘love languages’ people use are:
Giving gifts. This might include buying flowers or chocolates – physical items intended to please your partner and show you’ve been thinking about them.
Carrying out kind acts. This could be something like cleaning the car for your partner or picking up the shopping. Little (or big!) gestures to make them happy.
Spending quality time together. This could be putting aside a whole evening to spend in each other’s company so you can really reconnect.
Physical touch. This could be walking along holding hands, giving hugs, receiving a neck massage. Sensual gestures to make you feel physically closer together.
Saying nice things to each other. This could be paying compliments: ‘your hair looks nice’, ‘I really like you in that suit’, ‘you’re a really talented singer’ or just affirmations of how you feel about each other.
Most people have one or two main ‘love languages’ that they ‘speak’ – through which they express affection - and that they most appreciate and understand when ‘spoken’ to them.
So someone who feels that spending quality time together is the most natural way of expressing and developing affection might really appreciate it if their partner puts aside an evening for them to go on a date or have dinner. Or someone who feels close to their partner when being touched physically might really enjoy a back rub.
Likewise, we usually have one or two ways of expressing affection that don’t mean all that much to us – perhaps receiving gifts doesn’t really do it for you, or you can go a little longer without dedicated quality time.